Friday, August 07, 2009

Lloyd Eckberg and the Rich Man

Lloyd Eckberg in his latest editorial “Testing Our Moorings” has not done his research. (Go to and find the opinion section, I tried to put the link in but it doesn't work. Go figure.) He wants us to believe that Abraham Lincoln said these ten great guidelines railing against the take over of our society by the government; more specifically the take over of our society by socialists. The problem with this quote is Lincoln never said it. This quote is attributed to Rev. William J. H. Boetcker at the turn of the 20th Century. Lloyd Eckberg would do well to remember the quote from Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan who said, “You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts.” If you have to make up facts to support your point of view then there really is no point to your view.
But Lloyd Eckberg is right about one thing, Socialism is insidious, far more insidious than anyone can believe! Many people think that Karl Marx (not one of the Marx brothers) invented Socialism. Not so. It was actually invented by a Jewish Rabbi named Jesus around two thousand years ago. As the story goes there was this rich guy who asked the rabbi how he could get to heaven. The rabbi told the rich guy to sell everything he owned and give all of the money to the poor and follow him. Talk about wealth redistribution!! Lloyd Eckberg knows this is the first tenet of Socialism and after this it’s just down hill to Communism. Thank goodness rich people of the world haven’t followed this crazy idea. I don’t mean just the uber rich; nobody I know of has ever followed this rabbi's advice. If they did where would we be today? There would be no Paris Hilton, no wealthy Televangelist and no rich people to stand around on street corners shouting about the socialist take over of America.
Now what can we do to help Lloyd Eckberg? Well one thing we all can do is not recite the Pledge of Allegiance and don’t let your children recite it in school either. It was written by Francis Bellamy around 1892 and it turns out that Francis was.....wait for it....... a Christian Socialist. One of the followers of this Rabbi guy! Well Lloyd must be right, these socialist are everywhere. They’re behind every bush, every building and every tree. Ready to pollute our precious bodily fluids! So keep a sharp eye on your neighbors, watch your parents and if you think they are falling for this rabbi’s crazy belief about helping people then report them to Lloyd Eckberg. He’ll know what to do with them.

Oh wait......before I go let me say one last thing. Lloyd Eckberg is fucked up like a soup sandwich!!!!!!!!!



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