Saturday, July 09, 2011

Soup to Nuts “God has a Senior Moment”

It appears even God can have a senior moment. I can understand this; I’m only 56 and I have senior moments. God, on the other hand has been around for freaking ever, so it seems only right he should have a senior moment or two. The story of the Ten Commandments by itself is really goofy but Exodus Chapter 19 is hilarious. Exodus 19 starts the story of how Moses received the Ten Commandments. When you read the whole story you find there are two versions of the Ten Commandments but that’s another blog post. In Chapter 19, verse 9 of Exodus God tells Moses to get everybody together for HE is coming down Mount Sinai and all of Israel is going to hear God speak to Moses. It would appear Moses needed some street cred with the Jews. God also tells Moses to have the people wash their clothes, the Jews have been walking around the desert in a serious funk mode and God probably didn’t want to be downwind of his people. Understandable. In verses 12 and 13 God tells Moses to set up some type of boundary so the people don’t walk up the mountain because if they or any animal touch Mount Sinai He is going to God Whack them. If you read the Bible you know God takes his hits very seriously. He rarely hires hit men; the Lord prefers to do his own whacking. So the big day finally comes and God descends Mount Sinai with smoke and fire, lighting and thunder. Mount Sinai starts shaking and God’s arrival is announced with a loud trumpet. Man can he make an entrance! In verses 20 through 22 God tells Moses to come on up Sinai and let’s talk. Then it seems God gets caught up in the moment and tells Moses go back down the mountain. The Lord is afraid that the people are going to come up the mountain and do some God gawking. Then he tell Moses to let the priest come on up! It seems God has forgotten about the boundaries he had Moses set up and that he told the people and even animals not to come up Mount Sinai.

20 And the LORD came down upon mount Sinai, on the top of the mount: and the LORD called Moses [up] to the top of the mount; and Moses went up.
21 And the LORD said unto Moses, Go down, charge the people, lest they break through unto the LORD to gaze, and many of them perish.
22 And let the priests also, which come near to the LORD, sanctify themselves, lest the LORD break forth upon them.

This has to be an awkward moment for Moses. The big guy has forgotten what he said, so does Moses say something or just let it go. But if he lets it go then a whole bunch of his people get wacked and he loses his street cred for sure. Moses cowboy’s up and tells God He has forgotten about His instructions to the Israelites. God gets a little embarrassed and lashes out at Moses. He then tells Moses to go back down the mountain and bring back Aaron with him. Moses had to be really buff after all this up and down Mount Sinai!

23 And Moses said unto the LORD, The people cannot come up to mount Sinai: for thou chargedst us, saying, Set bounds about the mount, and sanctify it.
24 And the LORD said unto him, Away, get thee down, and thou shalt come up, thou, and Aaron with thee: but let not the priests and the people break through to come up unto the LORD, lest he break forth upon them.

This is my new favorite Bible story, written by people who had more of a sense of humor than anybody knew.


At Sun Sep 09, 11:23:00 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Point is definitely made!


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